Not Quite Useless Trash

Got a trash heap in a sci-fi world? Maybe something in there is kinda useful. Roll a d100 and find out!

1. Broken Broom - the shaft is intact, a heavy plastic rod. Does d5 damage.
2. Bag of plastic clothes hangers. 6d4 (roll any "4" result again and add to total) hangers in a bag that's falling apart. Some are new, most are used, all are dirty, some are disgusting. Cleaned up they'll go for 1 credit a dozen to the right marketer.
3. Bag of drink cans. 4d4 (roll any "4" result again and add to total) cans in a bag that's falling apart. Some are new, most are used, all are dirty, some are disgusting. Cleaned up they'll go for 1 credit a dozen to the right marketer. Roll d20 + Luck: on 21 or higher result, there is a can worth $500 credits. It has a winning code to a two year old contest that is still valid.
4. Broken plastic rods. If cut correctly, these will make 1d6 + Luck of single use arrows, d4 damage. Each arrow takes 10 minutes to cut.
5. Used jars. d8 old food jars, with lids and sticky, rotted contents. Cleaned up they will fetch 1 credit per four to the right marketer.
6. Worm, talking. The little creature says a single phrase now and then from the list below, roll d10:
   1) "Mooky" 2) "Sook-sook" 3) "Nee-mah" 4) "Party Town!" 5) "Drink Fizz Whizz!" 6) "YUUUUUP!" 7) "Are you INSANE?!" 8) "Neeee-CHEE!" 9) "TooooWOOP!" 10) "I've told you a hundred times, my name is Benjamin Chambers - why will you not hear me?" - worth 20 Credits.
7. Sixteen ball bearings. Six. Teen.
8. A blunderchuffer. You already have three in your inventory. (Write down "Blunderchuffer x4" in your character's inventory. If you you find this multiple times, keep adding.)
9. A coin made of copper from a long lost empire - it was sold as a toy 30 or so years ago. Worth 3 credits.
10. Sixteen eye balls. Six. Teen.
11. Out of date med pack. Will heal any creature to max HP-d3.
12. Really out of date med pack. Will heal any creature to max HP-d6.
13. Why would you use it, it's so out of date med pack. Will cause d6 damage, then heal d8+Luck back.
14. Sixteen deodorant roller balls. Six. Teen.
15. Broken comm link. Plays a little tune nearly silently - it will never stop.
16. Happy Fun Boomerang. Best of luck!
17. Ration packs, d10. Each will feed a creature for one day. Best used by date was last week.
18. Ration packs, d12. Each will feed a creature for one day. Best used by date was last year.
19. Ration packs, d3. Each will feed a creature for one day and heal d6 + Luck. Best used by date is this coming Thursday... ... ...
20. Ration packs, d20. Each will feed a creature for one day, but cause d4 damage and a day of moaning in stomach pain. Best used by date was last decade.
21. Pack of rubber bands. They taste like bubble gum if chewed.
22. Map - to local coin-op laundry. They might buy hangers.
23. Map - to local bar. They might buy drink containers.
24. Map - to local gaming hall. They might buy ball bearings. Six. Teen.
25. Map - to local sewer system.
26. Map - to local subway system, on another planet. Platform 8 has a red star drawn next to it.
27. Map - escape route from local prison.
28. Map - best sandwich shops, twenty three years old.
29. Collection of political buttons. All the politicians on the buttons were assassinated...
30. "My First CRISPR" - young adult gengineering toy. "Make life - anyway you wish!" No manual, half the consumables are gone and the plutonium-240 is now uranium-236. Box is in good condition. 20 credits.
31. Bag of condiments. All are out of date. Will feed a being for d3 days.
32. Book - How to Fix a Hair Dryer. (+1 on next Repair attempt.)
33. Book - How to Fix a Whoop-Whoop Race. (+1 on next Luck roll.)
34. Book - How to Fix Dinner. (Next cooking attempt produces twice the food for normal cost & effort. And it all FREEZES so well!)
35. Book - How to Fix Your Life. (+1 Luck permanently.)
36. Book - "If I Had a Credit!" - there's a 5 credit note taped to page 5.
37. Book - "Last Charge Into Hell" written by Stoog Mirapex. However, the book is signed "To Stoog, you couldn't write your way out of a bowl of bean dip. Hope you die creditless. Sincerely, your old best friend, Merky P.S. Nudge my ex-wife and tell her I said I hope she catches something uncurable!"
38. Book - "100 More Ways to Make Money Bilking Tourists" - OH! They will not see any of these coming!
39. Book - "100 Ways to Make Money Bilking Terrorists" - dust jacket says "decadently rich" author was first against the wall after the revolution.
40. Book - "The Most Patriotic Songs for Inspiration and Torture" ... ... ........... 
41. Pretty, plastic, party necklaces - d6. They're just cheap and pretty. 1 credit each.
42. Kitchen knives. d8, cheap, but sharp. d6 damage, will break at the worst point during combat.
43. Bag of… Pine Cones? Plantient spines? Wood carvings? Worth 20 to 2000 credits depending on who you can find to buy them.
44. A framed, pinned insect. The glass is cracked but it is a beautiful specimen. A hand painted banner under the insect reads "ON VACATION". Worth 250 credits, but, maybe just burn it.
45. Zero Point Hula Hoop. If used, after ten minutes of hula hooping, the hoop will generate a static electrical field with a high enough charge to allow a ship to travel between the stars - or cause d30 damage to everyone within 100m range, except the hooper.
46. Virus shot, d3 doses, +1 Luck for one hour.
47. Virus shot, d4 doses, don't need to eat for a day.
48. Virus shot, d3 doses, +2 reaction roll when dealing with any gender not your own.
49. Virus shot, d3 doses, +2 reaction roll when dealing with any of your own gender.
50. Virus shot, d3 doses, +2 reaction roll when dealing with any without gender.
51. Virus shot, d8 doses, +2 to cooking roll.
52. Virus shot, d8 doses, everything smells like roses for one hour.
53. Virus shot, d8 doses, everything tastes like chocolate for one hour.
54. Virus shot, d8 doses, cannot be intoxicated (or poisoned!) for one hour.
55. Virus shot, d10 doses, +6 to repair roll, causes d6 damage to character.
56. Virus shot, d10 doses, +6 to dancing roll - on second look, appears to be diluted medicinal alcohol! Yikes!
57. Folding bicycle. Well, you think it unfolds. You TRY to unfold it. Will only unfold on a natural 20. Will only fold on a natural 20. 5 credits in base metals.
58. Literal. Rocket. Skates.
59. Jar of explosive pickled peppers, d6 damage on contact. d24 damage for the whole jar.
60. Jar of explosive pickled mammals - EWW!!
61. Jar of hand picked explosives - d100 damage, worth 100 credits.
62. Bag of dust bunnies. They're cute, but must be constantly fed dust. Can clean a medium house in d24 hours. Will begin eating other items when dust is gone.
63. Bag of bags. d6 X d100 old, crumpled plastic bags, all from the same sandwich shop. All perfectly clean - worth 10 credits.
64. Bag of out dated music media. Worth a thousand credits on a different planet.
65. Bag of receipts, hundreds of paper strips, mostly for fast food delivery. Some small currency and coins - 9.35 credits.
66. Box of lures, for… fishing? They are all colorful, tiny robots, d12 of them. They all make little noises when exposed to light, the noises are amplified underwater - to a deafening level! Each is worth 5 credits.
67. Lint. Five pounds of lint. If burned in oxygen atmosphere, can turn ten cubic meters of matter to ash in seconds. Worth 500 credits.
68. Plastic mask… ? Pasta strainer… ? Radio antenna… ? Nope - could be anything. Worth 250 credits to the right collector.
69. Nope. Not making the joke. Just re-roll.
70. Plastic helmets, d4, each +1 to AC. Worth 50 credits each.
71. Unfashionable sun glasses, ghastly, d24 pairs. Each worth 2 credits. In three weeks each will be worth 300 credits, on a different planet.
72. Box of hand gun parts, d3 hand guns could be constructed out of the box with an hour of work each. All highly illegal under local laws.
73. Box of tiny flags on toothpicks, hundreds of them. The flags represent countries and governments that no longer exist. They would still look festive decorating food… or hats. Box is worth 10 credits.
74. Citrus peels. Would make a sour, mildewy tea. Heals d3.
75. Your Mom. No, seriously, it's a snapshot of your Mom at some beach. She's drinking something. Dude! I swear- That! Is! Her!!
76. Statue of a twelve armed goddess made of - calcified cheese? Marble? Bean curd? It's not glass.
77. Pasta. d4 boxes of "erotic" shaped pasta. Apparently, somewhere in the galaxy, "cubes" are "erotic". It's likely edible.
78. Really tiny colored pencils. Hundreds of them. Probably valuable if you know any artists who are less than 100 mm tall.
79. Ring - Plastic - 1 Credit
80. Ring - Zinc - 5 Credits
81. Ring - Silver - 20 Credits
82. Ring - Gold - 100 Credits
83. Ring - Platinum -  250 Credits
84. Ring - Unobtanium - you feel dirty just looking at it.
85. Hat, steak cutting. It's a hat, with four different knives attached to a series of servo motors and forks with sonic proximity sensors... and if used it to consume a meal, it will do d30 damage to the being's face and mouth. However, if extended away from the face, it will do d30 damage to an opponent.
86. The One Great Laser Sword of Omen and Destiny - toy, missing package, dirty, worth 5.49 credits. d2 damage.
87.  Broken pens. d30, sticky with blue and black ink, all with advertising for a ship-side catering company. Each one has a micro-camera and battery powered voice recorder... ! 5 credits each.
88. Famed comedian and day time game show host Drew Carey, costume - 10 credits, 15 once you remove the insect nests.
89. Flight sick bags. d30 x d30 + Luck - a whole collection from some of the most luxurious Starliners across the galaxy. But, it's still a box of barf bags. 10 credits to the right collector, and good luck with that!
90. Blank magazines. d10 slick paper books that have no visible writing or pictures - just off white paper. Perhaps intended for a species that "sees" in a different spectrum?? Would make good kindling...
91. Several novelty pranks: joy buzzer, exploding cigar, etc. - encased is a solid piece of transparent aluminum. Doesn't even work as an art piece - looks like it was created out of rage.
92. A framed platinum musical note. "Who Woogies Your Whogi, Baby? - One Trillion Transmissions" 100 credits, d6 damage.
93. Pretzels, in a chain. How do you make a chain of pretzels? They're stale. Salty!
94. Magnifying goggles, but they only have the sub-atomic setting available.
95. Sun goggles, cause blindness to wearer on a d3 roll of 1.
96. Blast goggles, d24 damage to wearer.
97. Bolt goggles, d12 electrical damage out to ten meters, d12 charges remain.
98. Wurst googles - they're made of meat. They smell pretty bad.
99. VR googles - There's a spinning "VR" logo on the internal display. The price tag reads "7999 credits".
100. Pick something nice off the list. Sure. Why not??